Although I often claim to be a “writer”, I have never really written a narrative or conversational piece. This particular conversation actually happened tonight during a routine backyard cleaning. It seemed to me to be as good an opportunity as any to try writing dialog…
Annette: “Will you help me move this trunk?”
Me: “This trunk? There are Black Widows in there…”
Annette: “There are not Black Widows in there! You don’t even know what a Black Widow looks like!’
Me: “Of course I know what a Black Widow looks like! I almost married one!”
Annette: “Oh what, you mean just some hot chick?”
Me: “Well duh! They’re always hot chicks. That’s how they get you to marry them. The same way they put fancy labels on whiskey bottles…like, ‘Oooh, this looks tasty! I should totally drink lots and lots of this stuff….then, two hours later….Blaaaaarffff!!!'”
Editor’s note: If you’re one of my exes, please don’t assume that I am referring to you. You should all know to whom I am referring… If you don’t know who that is, then it is probably you.