Tonight I’m going to introduce a new bit to my OK Cupid series. Rather than post my successes, I thought it would be more fun to post my failures. Deliberate failures, that is. Trying to sound impressive and likable is just so boring. So instead, I tend to just write whatever random thing occurs to […]
Archives for September 2011
I’m on a diet. In order to motivate myself, I’ve decided not to shave until I lose 20 pounds. Consequently, I’m starting to look like that sexy werewolf Alcide from True Blood….if he was much shorter and ate a lot more donuts.
Hello fans! Yes, both of you… I just wanted to announce that I am now offering subscriptions. If you like the site and want to keep abreast of new posts, just sign up for the newsletter below! You’ll get sweet and salty morsels of my tremendous wit right in your inbox! Amazing, isn’t it! Here […]
Just so we establish my position on this from the beginning- I believe in equal-opportunity suffering. Why anyone would want to get married is beyond me. But hey, I’m not a big fan of jumping out of planes that aren’t on fire, either…that doesn’t mean I want to make skydiving illegal. Regular marriage, gay marriage, civil […]
As an arrogant blowhard, I am loathe to share the spotlight. However, I thought it might be fun to showcase the rather hilarious and impressive work of a friend who has greatly inspired my writing. It was this OK Cupid character that originally propelled me to create my own, now famous (infamous?) and globally adored, profile. Once again, I tip my hat to you, my anonymous friend, for painting such a vile, arrogant and hilariously un-datable digital self-portrait.
And yes, before you ask…he gets a lot of ass from this.