I’m super hot shit on OK Cupid this week, for some reason. As always, I’m taking it very seriously. Here’s an exchange with a complete stranger from this afternoon:
Her: “You seem batshit crazy… Are you as entertaining as you seem?”
Me: “No. I’m an insufferable dullard. I’m also pretty racially intolerant. I’m not totally averse to beating small children just for the laughs. I voted for George W. Bush THREE times. For fun I like to recite Harry Potter chapters in reverse from memory, like a slightly less cool Twin Peaks red room midget. I like to watch paint dry, but only gray paint. I’ve been wanting to try watching grass grow, but I’m afraid of being overstimulated.”
Her: “Well, at least you got a Twin Peaks reference in there…..”
Me: “It was the high point of my day. ”
Her: “Mine too.”
This, folks, is what keeps me going in life. I assume the same goes for you, too.