Earlier this week, a friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend. It was a very sad and tragic blah blah blah, and now he is preparing to be released back into the wild. As is my charge in life, I have felt compelled to offer him some rebound advice. I am, after all, an expert on relationships…or at least on ending them. After finding inspiration in a somewhat lengthy Facebook thread (122 comments, and counting) I have come up with 10 tips that should help even the most burned out husks of former men regain their sense of purpose and get back to what life is really all about…which, as far as I can tell, is banging chicks that are either hotter, dirtier or closer in proximity than their exes. And so, I give you:
Chet’s Top 10 Post Break-up Tips for Dudes
#10 While on the rebound, it is important to invite your funny friends out for drinks…and cover their tabs. After all, you really can’t put a price on good jokes, and I, “cough”, I mean your funny friends, don’t make a lot of money right now. Blogging may be sexy and hilarious, but it is not as lucrative as I tell my mom it is…
#9 Don’t get caught up worrying about finding a new girl as hot as the last one right away. Your friends will let you bag a couple of wildebeests out of the gate while you regain your confidence. They respect the process and will therefore refrain from openly mocking you.
#8 While they may ordinarily be otherwise, in the wake of a break-up strippers ARE, in fact, your friends. If you play it right, you can probably score a free sympathy lap dance, especially if you are accompanied by one of your handsome writer friends…”cough” hint hint “cough”… It is a well-known fact that writers achieve their creative best while in the company of strippers. It’s true. Look it up. [Read more…] about Top 10 Post Break-up Tips