It’s late…very late…and I would like to eat. However, I have been focused on my new site all night, and now I am too tired to deal with food preparation. My roommate offered to share some of her food. She said, “Would you like some spaghetti…” to which I said. “Hellz YES”…but then she finished the sentence with, “squash” to which I responded, “Ewww, gross!”. This exchange prompted me to take a stand. “Spaghetti” sounds good. “Squash” sounds like squash… They don’t go together at all. And, by the way, spaghetti squash does NOT taste like spaghetti, nor does it have noodles inside of it…
Yesterday was cold. I mean Seattle cold. Not the kind of cold they get in the mid-west with the snow and the ice and the sleet (whatever that is)… I mean that wet, windy, soul-crushing heavy gray cold that we get here for 9 months out of the year…the penance we pay for those few fleeting months of Summer exaltation that make life worth living in the Northwest. That kind of cold. And yet, in spite of this, there was a guy…a very special guy…who just said, “to Hell with it!, I’m putting my goddamn top down today!”
Dear Drunk Girl next door,
It is 3am on Saturday night (OK, Sunday morning, if you want to be a dick about it)…I know that because you’ve been trying to start your car for about 25 minutes now….and because you’ve been “communicating” from the street below with your idiot comrades who seem all too eager to provide technical support in what is obviously an effort to rid themselves of your tedious, and grating existence. [Read more…] about Dear drunk girl next door at 3am…
The following is a sample cover letter I wrote back in college for a Technical Writing class. I tend not to look back fondly on my younger self, and I commonly fail to realize that my current personality was not, in fact, created in a vacuum. I had to smile when I discovered this little treat, which provides a warm, cuddly window into a beta version of my contemporary persona. I suppose my path toward anchor-less entrepreneurship was being laid down further back than I’d remembered… I find it especially ironic that I am currently tasked with editing resume and curriculum vitae tutorials for a web-based career development firm. Just goes to show…you really never know where you’re going until you get there.
January 12, 2000
Mr. Rich Boss
666 Capitalist Ave.
Bellingham, WA. 98225
Dear Mr. Boss,
Let me begin by offering to you my humblest gratitude for taking this time out of your busy day to read my letter. It is great men like yourself who possess the necessary vision that is so vital in this blossoming economic world. It was with this vision that our predecessors were able to find gifted men like yourself to continue the good fight against socialism and humanity that continues to rage so desperately today. I think you will agree with me when I say that the world of today has no room for compassionate liberals and their ridiculous gifts of charity. I would like to assure you that greed is job-one in my book, and a company such as yours can never be possessed of too much greed. My ice-cold, business-minded character is just what this company needs to ensure growth, but it is my unparalleled capacity for creativity that really sets me apart from the tedious masses. [Read more…] about I guess I’ve been me for a long time…
It is always a treat to see such obvious talent brought to bear on something so totally absurd. This doesn’t really have anything to do with anything, other than by virtue of being awesome, and as an easy opportunity for a first test-post for the launch of my new site. To date, I haven’t completely decided on the format or content of the new site, except that it seems like a natural and more permanent step in the progression from hand-written notes and journals, to Facebook and Twitter jokes… I think it will serve as both a diary and a forum for anything and everything I come across that makes me laugh, think, or pause in any meaningful way. [Read more…] about How perfect..this pretty well sums it up