My self-summary If you’re looking for a guy who sits at home, alone, on a Saturday night, drinking bourbon and watching a marathon of Sex and the City, this is your lucky day. Call your mom and tell her the good news. It’s cool. I’ll wait. I’ve been waiting for you my whole life. What’s […]
Tonight I’m going to introduce a new bit to my OK Cupid series. Rather than post my successes, I thought it would be more fun to post my failures. Deliberate failures, that is. Trying to sound impressive and likable is just so boring. So instead, I tend to just write whatever random thing occurs to […]
As an arrogant blowhard, I am loathe to share the spotlight. However, I thought it might be fun to showcase the rather hilarious and impressive work of a friend who has greatly inspired my writing. It was this OK Cupid character that originally propelled me to create my own, now famous (infamous?) and globally adored, profile. Once again, I tip my hat to you, my anonymous friend, for painting such a vile, arrogant and hilariously un-datable digital self-portrait.
And yes, before you ask…he gets a lot of ass from this.
Well, it has been a month now, and things are really heating up with my sexy new Russian pen-pal. Something tells me this relationship will go the distance, at least figuratively speaking. When you think about it, it is really quite perfect for me. For one thing, she is way too far away for there […]
After spending the past 6 weeks navigating the murky, awkward waters of the online dating world, I have come to a few vaguely scientific conclusions. First, most women think of themselves as unique and quirky. Second, most women really care about their families, and they want you to know it. Third, there are a lot […]